The Cousin Seducer
by Clay Mason
Summary: Thus The Cousin Seducer was formed! Righter of wrongs, killer of evil doers; whose arch nemesis, The Cousin, always fell foul to her charms. Or something like that, Ino always was a bit melodramatic
1. Plans

A/N: This story isn't about Karaoke, although it was going to be originally. This story is of friendship and the things your friends do just so they can spend some time with you.

Enjoy.

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"Karaoke night…" Looking at her reflection in the mirror she pouts and makes silly faces, trying to psyche herself up for the total humiliation that would inevitably be 'Karaoke night'_  
"How in the hell do I get myself into this? Oh well Hinata, brave face, at least everyone else will be making idiots of themselves."_

"Maybe I should just stay home." Hinata said to no-one in particular. She gave the idea some serious thought until an image of 'The Cousin Seducer' popped into her head. "Maybe not…" She shuddered and with those final happy thoughts, she went off to get ready for a night that was bound to be humiliating. Oh the joys of Karaoke night…

"Hinata," Neji yelled up the stairs "dinner will be ready in an hour!"

"Man, this was going to cause problems. Ino is going to have a fit." Hinata mumbled to herself.

_Speaking of Ino…_

"Oi Forehead!" Ino yelled "You think you could muster up the strength to lift your grossly over-sized forehead off my top? I have plans to wear it; I have to look good for someone tonight"

"Excuuuse me Pig, but it's going to take more than a sparkly top to make you look remotely passable as a human, much less a female." Sakura said whilst getting to her feet, balling her fists.

"Ha! That's rich coming from someone who blots out 95 of the sky with her forehead!" I know, makes no sense but, once they get started the insults get very… we'll say odd, just to be nice.

"Put on your top so we can go porker! Oh look it's pink, must be an omen piggy."

"What did you say? Is your forehead blocking your eyes or something? That wasn't the top I was talking about idiot!" Ino hissed back at Sakura and walked around her, cool as air, and picked up another top of the non-sparkly variety and proceeded to put it on.

"Friendliness aside Ino, you think Tenten is gonna show?" Worry mildly evident in Sakura's tone

"It's Hinata I'm worried about," Ino said poking her head out the neck of her top and walking off into the bathroom "she'll probably get ready, give herself a pep talk and then decide to stay in and watch Hanabi and Neji wrestle over the remote or some crap!"

Just that image alone was enough to have Sakura in fits of laughter because Neji wasn't one for wrestling, especially not over a remote with Hanabi. Once Ino was done getting ready, 20 minutes after Sakura started laughing, she came out of the bathroom to find Sakura still chuckling slightly to her previous statement, wiping tears from her eyes.

"You know what?" Ino started. "We need to do some intervention." and finished not even giving Sakura a chance to open her mouth.

"Let me guess," Sakura said, tapping her chin with 2 fingers "You want me to go and call Tenten and tell her to meet us about 25 minutes earlier than planned so we can go and ambush Hinata?"

"Uh… no," Ino said a blush forming slightly on her cheeks "I wasn't going to say that at all, but your plan is much better than what I was going to say!"

"I figured it was something like that, Pigs aren't the smartest creatures around now are they?" Sakura said whilst simultaneously dialling Tenten's number.

"What did you say?" Ino all but bellowed at Sakura, walking menacingly across the room gearing up to choke her.

"Shhhh Ino… Tenten?" Sakura asked into the headset. "It's Sakura; there's been a change of plans."

Upon hearing those words, Tenten knew she was in trouble. Considering Sakura was phoning from Ino's house, it meant that Hinata had to be 'freed from her oppressor!' or so Ino's slightly over active imagination told her. This was only a bad thing because it was always left to her to distract The Cousin; you can even hear the capitals when they talk about him.

"Let me guess," Tenten said apprehension coursing through every word. "We need to 'liberate' Hinata right?"

As soon as those words had passed her lips she heard Ino's shrill tones through the phone exclaiming, "We need The Cousin Seducer!"

The Cousin, being Neji, was a tad over-protective and so Hinata having any time outside of the house and school, although there were times when he disapproved of that too, was a no-no on his list; too many interactions with man-boys or something; and thus The Cousin Seducer was formed! Righter of wrongs, killer of evil doers; whose arch nemesis, The Cousin, always fell foul to her charms. Or something like that, Ino always was a bit melodramatic.

"There is no way I'm doing that shit," Tenten stated clearly down the phone. "I thought you were joking."

There was a moment of silence and then mumbling could be heard.

Mumbling was always a bad sign, _always._


	2. The Cousin Seducer

Ah, chapter 2. I spent a little too much time on this one I think but I hope you enjoy it. If there are any mistakes let me know.

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Being right had never been as un-rewarding as it was now. Why? Because Tenten and Sakura were looking at The Cousin Seducer gearing up to seduce Neji and they suspected it wouldn't be the last time either. They were really just hoping that it wouldn't't end badly; when Ino is upset, people suffer, people called Tenten, Sakura, Hinata and Shikamaru usually.

"And what, exactly, am I doing here?" Shikamaru yawned still trying to decipher the gibberish that Ino had spouted at him while she yanked him rather violently out of the door.

"Listen closely lazy-ass," Ino whispered, looking around to make sure no one was listening in. "We need to bust Hinata out of there and free her-"

"Stop with the melodrama Ino. It isn't that exciting."

"Says you billboard brow," Ino spat back. "I'm the one doing all the hard work!"

Shikamaru and Tenten stood in the background conspiring, whilst Ino and Sakura argued on. It was only after they had argued for more than 5 minutes without an interruption that they figured something was up.

"Anything you'd like to share?" They asked simultaneously, hands on hips, scowling at them.

"New plan!" Tenten smiled, excitement glinting in her eyes. "When Ino rings the doorbell follow me, ok Sakura?"

"Sure thing." Sakura said catching on immediately.

"I'm going to stay by the car; I want no part of this." Shikamaru announced sauntering off.

"And what the hell am I supposed to do?" Ino shouted, flinging her arms in the air.

"Ino," Sakura said, eyes focused intently on her. "Sorry we don't have the costume but since it was _your_ idea..."

"Yeah Ino," Tenten said, nodding her head. "The Cousin Seducer is needed!" Sakura smirked at that last remark and nodded in agreement.

"What!?" Ino yelled, her eyes practically popping out of their sockets. "Why the hell should I do it? It was a _joke_. 'Ha ha, funny,' you know?"

"Oh, it'll be funny Ino," Sakura said. "Funny for us."

"Why are you encouraging it now?" Ino asked suspicion oozing from her body, eyes fixed intently on her friends. "I mean, last Halloween you pounced on me in my outfit before I could even leave the door and every time before that, when ever I'd bring up my _awesome_ creation you'd hit me! Or just laugh it off..."

Seeing Ino getting more and more worked up, Sakura couldn'thelp but feel sorry for her. She stepped up to her friend and gently guided Ino towards the door, Tenten coming up behind them.

"I really liked that outfit you know and you hate it so much." Ino mumbled still annoyed at the way things had turned out.

"That's because that outfit is hideous," Sakura explained to her, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And I would have thought you'd want people to know that you, Ino Yamanaka, have managed to seduce the ice cube cousin not some idiot in a costume."

As soon as Sakura ended that sentence a smug smile slowly crept onto Ino's face. With Sakura's motivational, if not ego hitting, words to drive her Ino rang the doorbell and waited.

'I can do this,' she thought, anticipation rising. 'I am Ino Yamanaka, The Cousin Seducer.'

The day that alter ego had appeared had been a funny one. They had been enjoying a day off school (without Hinata, of course) and were bored out of their minds.

"If Hinata were here we could sneak into a movie." Ino said offhandedly.

"It sucks that she's the one with all the connections." Tenten sighed.

"Well with a family as big as her she was bound to be our go-to gal." Sakura pointed out.

They all sank back into their bored stupor, sprawled out on the grass hidden amongst a cluster of trees, in their local park, listening to all the pre-schoolers screaming happily with their parents.

"You know what," Ino said suddenly. "Neji needs a girlfriend or a hobby or something."

"He has a hobby," Tenten remarked, almost too bored to form the next words. "Those weapons I have to stare at and 'appreciate' so you guys can sneak by him? They are his hobby, he's a collector."

"Ok then, a better hobby." Ino sprang up and began to stroke an imaginary beard.

"What?" Sakura said, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"You know someone to keep Neji distracted but, not by staring at his boring pointy objects." Ino said.

"So you mean we need to find someone to… what exactly?" Tenten asked knowing she would regret the answer.

"Can we get out of here? I got ants crawling up my skirt; it's irritating." Sakura complained, shifting on the floor and dusting off her legs.

"That's it!" Ino exclaimed loudly.

"What? What's it?" Tenten said exasperatedly.

"We need someone to distract Neji like Kurenai distracts Asuma!" She said enthusiastically, slamming her fist down onto her open palm.

Stunned into silence Tenten and Sakura just got up and walked off, hoping Ino would have enough sense to follow. She did. They relocated to Sakura's house; her mother was out with her father.

"So…" Ino said "What did you think of my idea?"

"What idea?" Sakura replied still curious as to how ants triggered such an outburst

"She want's us to try and get into Neji's pants," Tenten said humorlessly. "You know, as a distraction." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What the hell Ino!" Sakura exclaimed. "Are you insane? We are still kids; I'm not going to have sex with Neji every time we want Hinata to come out."

"Me neither." Tenten added.

Ino stared at the two of them, mouth parted slightly. Sakura thought that she had stopped breathing; she got up and poked her on the forehead. It was then that wheezing could be heard, wheezing coming from Ino. And then the laughter started.

"Eh heh… heh…" Sakura managed, at a loss for true words at the sight of Ino Yamanaka dashing into her bedroom, like the devil himself was chasing her, laughing maniacally.

Then came the sounds of crashing and the occasional curse from Ino. Tenten and Sakura looked at each other; Tenten raised an eyebrow quizzically only to get a shrug that signalled Sakura's ignorance to Ino's moment of apparent madness.

Cautiously the two girls unaffected by the madness crept up to the bedroom door and peeked in. What they saw left them more confused than before and if they were being completely honest a bit frightened too.


	3. The Things You Do For Friends

"See, Neji? She is clearly sick."

Neji peered at the girl in question, looking closely at her to see if she was indeed sick as they had said. She was looking at him oddly and he wondered if there was something wrong with her eyes, she was blinking a lot. She very focused on him; it made him feel uneasy, it made him feel… _hunted._ Not that he showed that in any way, shape or form.

"If she's sick why bring her here?" He said, raising an eyebrow and turning his head to look back at Sakura slowly.

And this was where he had them stumped. Why would they bring Ino over if she was sick? Maybe feigning sickness wasn't a good idea? After all wasn't she just supposed to be seducing him?

Tenten gave Sakura a panicked look and wiggled her head in what she must have thought was an inconspicuous manner, but only served to make Neji even more suspicious than before. And that was when Ino struck!

"Ah, actually Neji, I'm feeling fine. It's just that we made plans with Hinata and we would _really_ like for her to hang with us."

Her voice had become huskier, her eyes slightly lidded and she was… pouting? Sakura and Tenten could not believe their eyes. Sure they had seen Ino go after a guy before, Kankuro being an example, but never with this much finesse. The change was so stunning that even Neji was affected.

Before Neji could start his protests Ino took a small step forward and he took a big step back. Like a lioness hunting her prey she never took her eyes off him. She licked her lips and smiled, a small smile that spoke of confidence, a smile that could easily be classed as a smirk; a smile that unnerved Neji to no end.

"Looks like it's just us, Neji dear." She purred, licking her lips again.

The words that left those delicious looking lips took a while for Neji to process, when they did finally penetrate he looked around quickly, and sure enough there were no signs of Tenten and Sakura, it was also at that moment that he realised that was too busy fantasizing about Ino lips to care.

Ino on the other hand was surprised, but doing a good job at hiding it. She could not believe that it was working, but then again she did have the element of surprise and she was going to make sure that the advantage would be used effectively; they had spent too much time planning tonight just for The Cousin to wreck it. Ino was determined to seduce the hell out of Neji because hey, that's what friends are for; she just hoped Sakura and Tenten were doing their job.

_And they were__… trying to._

"Come on Hinata, we have to go!" Tenten urged; eyebrows furrowed, creating wrinkles on her forehead.

Sakura was outside of the room trying to listen in on Ino hoping that she would catch any signals of the seduction plan failing. So far she hadn't heard anything from Neji, just Ino; she could only assume that he was acting the ice cube again.

"Hurry it up Tenten; we may not have much time. Neji doesn't sound too responsive." She wanted to pace the floor, she wanted to sling Hinata over her shoulder and run out the door, but that would raise too many questions and quite possibly a few phone calls to the police; damn Hyuuga's….

"What about Neji, what's Ino doing to him?" Hinata knew she probably shouldn't have asked but she was worried about Neji and she wondered what hare-brained scheme Ino had come up with this time.

"We have finally allowed her to fulfil her dream." Tenten said hurriedly, grabbing her hand and trying to pull her out the door.

Unfortunately for Tenten; Hinata, although she is meek, can also be as stubborn as a mule, and she was not going to budge until she heard what she wanted to know.

"Explain how you got in the house." she demanded.

Her eyes were alert, searching for the slightest sign of a lie; her jaw clenched causing her mouth to curve down. Hinata was upset. Tenten sighed, and looked to Sakura for a little help.

"Eh, we had to resort to drastic measures," Sakura began, rubbing the back of her neck and smiling awkwardly. "The Cousin Seducer is at work, thwarting The Cousin… so to speak."

Everyone in the room was slightly perturbed at how 'Ino' sounding that was. Hinata's eyes suddenly widened, her eyebrows raised. Tenten and Sakura looked at her mirroring her expression.

"She isn't… she isn't wearing that stupid costume is she?" Hinata asked, hoping against hope that she wasn't.

Tenten and Sakura both let out the breaths that they were holding and grinned, shaking their heads to alleviate their friends concern.

"Now come on!" Tenten grunted, pulling on Hinata's arm and dragging her out of the room.

They ran to the top of the stairs and stopped. Slowly, they crept down the stairs, ears straining for any sounds of Ino or Neji. Unfortunately for them, so intent were they on listening for Ino they forgot about the squeaky last step. When Sakura stepped on it, they all stood statue still, all thinking varying panicky thoughts.

'_Damn it, damn it, damn it…' _

'_Did they hear?' _

'_Are we busted? Oh God!'_

Unbeknownst to the girls panicking on the stairs though is that Ino and Neji had made their way to the living room. Both were sitting on the couch, Ino staring at Neji, Neji looking away but glancing at her occasionally to see if she was still staring at him, which she was. They had briefly made small talk and were currently sitting in a decidedly uncomfortable silence, which was broken by the squeak of the stair.

'_Damn__ it!' _Ino thought

"Did you hear that?" Neji asked; head tilted to the side, trying to gauge where the sound came from, he figured now was as good a time as any to tell them.

Neji started to get up from the seat, completely missing the look of abject horror plastered on Ino's face.

"I have to tell Hinata something." He stated simply to Ino.

Blinking rapidly he looked ahead thinking that something had been thrown at him only to get an eyeful of Ino's cleavage. It was only then that he realised that he was being pinned down to the chair by Ino sitting on him.

"Like what you see?" She asked smiling and chuckling at him.

He blushed and turned his head in response, something Ino wasn't used to; usually the guys would gawk, and quite often, tried to get a handful. It was then, that her idea of Neji changed. He wasn't some interfering busy-body, intent on making Hinata the homeliest girl imaginable. He was just a nice guy, who actually had morals; but he was still the enemy and she had a job to do.

He was still blushing, she leant in closer and he turned a shade of red that Ino had only seen Hinata achieve. Smirking she moved in further, getting so close to his face their noses were almost touching.

Neji suddenly became rigid when Ino started leaning in, hoping that if he stopped moving she's forget he was there. He felt like he was about to be eaten. Her smirk freaked him out; he'd had girls interested him, but his cold as ice exterior usually made them keep their fantasies to themselves. He had never been seduced before, it had caught him off guard and now here he was, at Ino's mercy because of a minor slip.

Hinata, Sakura and Tenten had stayed motionless on the stairs for what felt like eons. When neither Neji nor Ino had arrived they had decided it was time to grab Ino and get the hell out of here. They had heard Ino laughing and had followed the sound and what they saw when they poked their heads around the doorway was nothing less than glorious (Sakura), shocking (Hinata) and disgusting (Tenten).

It was glorious for Sakura because not only was this bribing material, but it was also the perfect moment to interrupt. She had never seen two people so close and not kissing, it was… unnatural.

"Hey! Ino! Let's go!" She screamed as loudly as she could.

The sudden noise that was Sakura caused Ino to jump much to her surprise and Neji's joy (not that you would know). Neji turned his head just in time to see Tenten and Hinata running for the door; Hinata smiling wistfully and Tenten looking like she wanted to find the nearest toilet. Sakura just stood in the doorway grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"W-well," Ino mumbled at Neji, unable to meet his eyes under Sakura's intense stare. "It was… fun?"

"I think 'interesting' would describe it better." Neji responded, his face regaining its frigidness.

Ino slid off of Neji's lap feeling somewhat disappointed. Sakura motioned for Ino to hurry up and then ran off in the same direction as Tenten and Hinata. Before Ino could make it to the doorway however, Neji had caught her wrist and spun her around to face him.

"You know, as fun as this was, all you had to do was wait. I wasn't about to say no to your request to spend time with Hinata." Neji said, trying to suppress a smirk of his own.

Ino just stood there, mouth open, completely flabbergasted; so much for nice guy.

"Considering my behaviour over the last couple of weeks you doing this is _hardly_surprising. Besides I've heard so much about this 'Cousin Seducer', I wanted to meet her. Why do you think I've been especially insufferable lately?"

Before she could respond however, Neji was already steering her towards the door, rather quickly. She had to concentrate on her feet to keep from tripping.

"Enjoy_'karaoke'._" He said with a grunt as he shoved her out the door.

With a push out the door and a look of knowing, though what Ino didn't want to contemplate and a slam of a door in her face before she could say anything back Ino ran off to join her friends with a smirk once again gracing her lips.

'_Karaoke? Yeah right. If only you knew Neji… if only you knew'_

"Ino, hurry up you big fat porker! The guys won't wait forever you know." Sakura yelled, hanging out of a window from Shikamaru's car. "If they leave before I get to see… it I'm never going to forgive you!"

"Shut it Sakura I'm in the car already," Ino said breathing heavier. "You should really learn to move your forehead when you yell so you can see."

Before the argument could escalate to manic proportions Hinata realised the implications of what they had said and interrupted.

"N-not karaoke?"

"Of course not silly!" Ino chirped, a grin on her face.

"What a boring way to spend our anniversary," Sakura said, grimacing. "Anyway, we only said that so that if you did say anything to anyone, or anyone wanted to know what you were doing; you could say that and not blush a million shades of red about what you were_actually_ doing."

Hinata was amazed; they had actually planned this out pretty well. More importantly though…

"No karaoke." She breathed a sigh of relief and nestled back into the dilapidated mess that was, Shikamaru's rear seat. For a few minutes she was content to think ideas about what they were doing when she realised Sakura had said 'Anniversary' not 'Day'.

"Anniversary? Who's celebrating what?" She asked interrupting the other passengers and there quiet, although heated, conversation.

"How could you forget?" Tenten asked, amazed that the girl who can remember all manner of dates couldn't remember this important of a day.

"Forget what?" Hinata responded her voice getting quieter.

"Today is the day that we all met for the very first time as friends," Tenten said with a smile. "Today will mark 6 years of friendship."

"Oh."

It was all Hinata could manage, she'd never forgotten today before and she hadn't gotten them anything! She felt like a terrible friend and it must have been obvious.

"No crying in my car Hinata, crying girls are troublesome."

"Shikamaru!" Ino admonished, hitting him on the head. "Don't worry about presents and stuff Hinata, this day is totally for you."

"Yeah," Sakura chimed in. "You always get us into places or get us amazing gifts even though we can't get you anything nearly as great back."

"You are incredibly thoughtful and honest and we decided that this year, to make up for all the birthdays we couldn't afford and the anniversaries you hated, that today would be for you." Tenten finished.

Hinata was moved to tears by their thoughtful words and sentiments. As the tears poured down she couldn't help but smile. She brought them all into a group hug and as the three girls who weren't crying comforted Hinata, Shikamaru could be heard wondering what the world was coming to and complaining about how troublesome crying girls and girls in general are.

"S-so…" Hinata sniffled, pulling herself away from the hug and drying her eyes. "What's this surprise?"

Ino's grin was so big you could see the strain on her face.

"You'll love it!" She cried grabbing her by the hand. "The boys have a surprise for us."

"Yeah," Shikamaru grumbled. "One you forced us to prepare."

The things they went through for Hinata, all in vain but they regret nothing, because tonight was _her_ night and she was absolutely worth the effort.

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AN: The end, I was thinking of a sequel of the surprise. Let me know if you think I should. Hope you enjoyed the story.

Thank yous: To ED (Evil Detective), for editing and going over my first chapter thank you.

To Deathrosekitty, thank you for my first review for this story.

To all the other people who read it. Thank you for giving it a try.


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